I woke up with a knot in the pit of my stomach.
But let me back up a bit.
I've had a very quiet time of recovery and regrouping in the beautiful home I've been taking care of in Kailua-Kona. At times I felt guilty for not going out to the amazing beaches there are to choose from. But it's been such a luxury not having to get up and jump in my car first thing to drive down that four mile hallway to the bathroom.
I spent almost every day for six months being out. Out at Warm Pond mostly. Or going out to Home Depot, or out to the Transfer Station. It was grand. My tan was over the top. I was exhausted and exhilarated. I was on a grand adventure and had visions, or delusions, of grandeur dancing in my head. I held on every time the going got tough.
So yeah, I've stayed 'home' while I've had one to stay home in. And I've still got about three weeks. And that's why I've got those knots in my tummy.
Dread is a more appropriate description.
And so much can happen between now and then. It's not like I haven't been organizing and planning. It's just most of my plans are long term and skip over the month of November. (I'm going to be in California for a few months starting in December).
I can't go back to living in the gypsy wagon, can I? I can't live in that damp again. My health has improved by getting out of there.
What's also kind of a funny paradox is, I'm looking forward to the homeowners returning because I really like them. They feel like friends that I miss. Except when they return it's time for me to go. Lol. Smh.
I can though. Move back onto my property. I mean, one of the things I felt great about when I bought my land is that I'd always have someplace to go.
So yes. I can do it. And. But. I prefer to thrive rather than survive. I've changed. I'm letting go of that starving artist archetype that's had me by the short hairs.
I've decided that a better response to the coming changes is, what amazing thing is about to happen?